Smile Again
I used to look at my baby pictures and wonder, "Where is that girl and where did her smile go?" I learned how to repress things that had occurred and move on. I might bring them up here and there, but I did not truly deal with them. Each situation I moved on from became unresolved, stacking up like dirty dishes. Once dishes pile up too high, they start falling and breaking. My unresolved issues began spilling into other areas of my life and tearing apart relationships. Before I sought out therapy, writing was my therapy. I wrote down bottled-up feelings that needed to be released.
Grief
Throughout my life, I have experienced good and bad grief. At times, the lines became blurred as to which was bad or good, due to the way it made me feel. I was seven years old when my mother took me to a wake. I stood by the casket and looked at a woman I did not know with a wig, face made up, pearly nails with rings, and her arms across her chest. I looked from the top of her head to midway where the casket covered her body and thought, this is death, but I did not cry. Invisible, 2023
Transformation
When everything is calm, we feel comfortable. Then things begin to change, discomfort sets in, and we become uneasy and frustrated. Healing requires identifying the problem, uncovering its root cause, and developing the ability to work through it. This process prepares us for the transformation necessary for growth.
Confront Challenges
I remember when challenges came my way, I was unable to run and had to face them. For years, I attempted to deal with my issues and thought I was coping. I believed the outcome would change, but it stayed the same. After becoming sick and tired, I decided to seek professional help for my mental health. I was carrying anger from childhood issues that had followed me into adulthood. I am grateful that I found the right therapist to help me work through my trauma.
